Dispatches 16 March 2001   BERMUDA, BAHAMA, COME ON PRETTY MAMA Spring break looms, and by the time you read this my thesis will be handed in. Mmm, Key Largo looms. But for the moment my life involves sitting at my computer by the window, looking out wistfully while Stata hums in the background. No time to analyze the music news in-depth. Not that there's much to say. Sporty Spice has left the Spice Girls, which leaves the group yet another fennel seed short of five-spice powder. Filtering has started: a search for "Oops I Did it Again" on Napster this week found songs by "Brittany," "Brittney," and "Britny" Spears. Great. Just like those bootleg CDs you find in the alleys of Thailand. The song "One Night in Bangkok," incidentally, is banned in Thailand.   THE TRACKS OF MY TEARS In honor of the upcoming Oscars, I should list my favorite movie-music moments. (Not that Oscar knows how to reward the true Best Songs, even out of the five they select: how did "You Light Up My Life" beat "Nobody Does It Better" in 1977, or "Born Free" beat "Georgy Girl" in 1966, or "Lullaby of Broadway" beat "Cheek to Cheek" in 1935?) So, here goes, in no particular order (deep breath): Nicole Kidman dancing to "Sweet Home Alabama" to an entranced Joaquim Phoenix or her mock-epic playing of "All By Myself" at her husband's funeral (To Die For); Jack Black and his band striking up "Let's Get It On" in High Fidelity; Wayne and Garth headbanging to "Bohemian Rhapsody," Garth dancing to "Foxy Lady"; Timothy Hutton et al singing "Sweet Caroline" in the bar in Beautiful Girls; the tearful recollection of "Rolling With the Homies" in Clueless; Robin Williams putting on "I Feel Good" in Good Morning Vietnam; Jamie Bell dancing off his anger through the streets of Durham as A Town Called Malice plays, the playing of "Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)" in Mr Holland's Opus; "Glory of Love" in Beaches; Dustin Hoffman whistling "Mrs. Robinson" to himself as he exits a store in The Graduate; the alternate-lyrics version of "Mrs. Robinson" that actually plays in that movie; Winona Ryder and gang dancing to "My Sharona" in the gas-station convenience store (Reality Bites); John Cusack holding up the boombox in Say Anything; Michelle Pfeiffer singing "Making Whoopee" on the piano; "Ac-Cent-Thu-Ate the Positive" closing L.A. Confidential ironically; Jon Favreau and Heather Graham swinging to "Go Daddy-O" in Swingers; seasons changing as Hugh Grant walks down the Portobello Road to "Ain't No Sunshine" (Notting Hill); John Travolta and Uma Thurman dancing to "You Can Never Tell" in Pulp Fiction; Franka Potente running down the streets frenetically to the sound of her own voice (with electronic music backing) in Run Lola Run; the bittersweet use of "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and "I Love the Nightlife" in Last Days of Disco; "I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do" and other Abba songs punctuating Muriel's Wedding; the whole crew stripping to "You Can Leave Your Hat On" in The Full Monty; that inimitable discussion of "Like a Virgin" in Reservoir Dogs; "Lollipop" in Stand By Me; "No More Mr. Nice Guy" in the background as Wiley Wiggins gets paddled in Dazed and Confused; Faye Wong dancing to "California Dreaming" (Chungking Express); Tom Everett Scott hitting the drums too fast but just right in That Thing You Do!; and "Play it Sam. Play ‘As Time Goes By''' That proliferation of mid-'90s movies in that list shows, I suppose, that often with good music moments it isn't the quality of the music that counts, it's where I was in time when I watched the movie. "That Thing You Do!" is nice to mention though, since it's perhaps the best movie made about one-hit wonders, and it has one of my favorite break-up moments in a movie. Liv Tyler (as Faye) to Johnathon Schaech (as Jimmy): "I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you--kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you, when you smiled. But now I know you don't mean any of it. You just save it for all your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight." And shame on me for wasting your time on self-indulgence. But at least I mean all of it.