More Oscar thoughts: Kiwi Polish

As I said yesterday, what is this, Commonwealth night? Sure, a big part of that was New Zealand getting thanked, but even the non-LOTR awards fell often to the former colonies: Charlize Theron (she's really tan, no?), the Australian bloke for Master and Commander... And there were Nicole Kidman and Keisha Castle-Hughes, waiting in the wings.

Jack Black and Will Ferrell's lyrics to the speech-killer song were great. I love the way "Catherine / Zeta / Jones" scanned in the song. Second-funniest part was Billy Crystal's dead-on Robin Williams impression. As for Ben Stiller's Starsky-and-Hutch sweater gag: he's got better stuff. Sweetest bit of the night was the guy who said "I wrote this to you on a piece of paper when I was 8, and now I'm saying in front of a billion people: I love you". Okay, I'm probably not getting the exact words right, but the sentiment's there. All together now: awww. And Francis Ford was practically beaming the whole night, cheerfully outsized (figuratively only, of course) by Sofia. But Sofia, Sofia - so awkward on stage. Clearly the woodenness in the Godfather Part III was no one-off. Clearly more comfortable behind the camera than in front. Ian McKellen has magnificent cadences in his voice - even the intro to the clip of Return of the King was a sonorous call to arms.

What was Nicole Kidman wearing? The bottom looked caught in a shredder, and the top on my tiny TV kind of looked like the grey bits that fall out when you tear those padded envelopes.

I see I'm not alone in calling Sean Penn the finest actor of his generation. And great to see Errol Morris get recognised for something. I really want to see the Barbarian Invasions. And finally, nice to see Blake Edwards honoured - I hadn't realised he was so frail. How come they didn't mention the glow-in-the-dark condom scene in Skin Deep?

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