Civil War spam

Spam that (American) Civil War soldiers would have received had the technology been available (and had Spam the canned meat been invented for which spam could be named):

ENGORGE YOUR MALE ORGAN

BE IN RECEIPT OF DEPICTIONS OF HUSSIES!

and that all-time classic:

"Kind SIR, I am currently in the possession of the Estate of the late Joseph Smith, Esquire, keeper of many Fair Plantations in Fair Georgia. I had dispatched a courier with haste only to find that he had fallen in the recent calamity without making a WILL. I plead with you that, as a gentleman of good standing, you should stand in the stead of Mr Smith's heirs in the claiming of the Estate. I await your response with an address by which you may be contacted."

(Inspired by McSweeney's E-mail shorthand for Civil War soldiers bit)

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