Impulse

Met up with Andrew Ing of the Filter Group (he's the former Zouk marketing manager) today on something work-related, but something he said got me thinking. I remember back when I was in America, when I wanted to DJ and clearly not ready for the big time of club work, I just got together with my friend Dave, we put together some flyers (which I will scan one day), invited loads of people, and put together one hell of a party. He opened with Japanese house, I closed with Latin/disco house, with nods to each other's playlist. Two great sets, if I must say so myself. Or when I helped organise a rock festival (we called it Blast!), four bands slamming in the Harvard Advocate building, because - well, because I thought it would be fun to help out, and I could provide the press coverage as music editor of the Crimson. No great grand motives, and no consideration of all the reasons not to do it.

So... why don't I do that sort of thing here in Singapore? Why don't I just up and do something on impulse, do something I like just for the hell of it? And I spoke about that with my colleague Dennis who was with me, and he said that I wasn't the first person he's heard that kind of story from, but neither of us could pinpoint the cause. After all, "the Daryl in America is the Daryl in Singapore", as Dennis put it, so it's not that I'm inherently unable to do such a thing. It's not regulations either, much as they're every Singaporean's favourite scapegoat. It's not like I go "I want to do something, but I can't", it's that I don't even think about it. Perhaps work is responsible for apathy. Perhaps it's the relentless pragmatism of a town like Singapore, which makes for very tiring conversations ("why are you doing this?" "um... because"). Perhaps it's just me, shell-shocked to the point of slovenliness. I really don't know. All I know is, I feel like I'm searching for something that's been lost, and I want it back.