Roger Ebert pulls rank

Roger Ebert's review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo gets funny once it moves out of reviewing the film (probably too execrable to even make decent wisecracks about, but that's just my guess) and starts talking about the contretemps between Rob Schneider and the Los Angeles Times' Patrick Goldstein, who had called the original Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo "a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic".
Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: "Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind ... Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers."

Reading this, I was about to observe that Schneider can dish it out but he can't take it. Then I found he's not so good at dishing it out, either. I went online and found that Patrick Goldstein has won a National Headliner Award, a Los Angeles Press Club Award, a award, and the Publicists' Guild award for lifetime achievement.

Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.

But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.
Heh. Pulling rank can be fun. And Rob Schneider is apparently not only unfunny, but also not quite au fait with using Google to look up someone's credentials.

If you want a duplication of the scintillating Ebert research, a quick Google search brought up Goldstein's 2004 Publicists' Guild award.

Defamer's Rob Schneider page


Anonymous said…
A funny post, as usual - the worrying thing is, why were you reading the review of said crap movie in the first place??!

(from Fishes in June)
T-Boy said…
Because, you know, that'd be better than say, watching said crap movie?
Anonymous said…
*lol* True. Though maybe "starring Rob Schneider" should cue one to start avoiding it (movie, review) at all costs! (FiJ)
Daryl said…
I can't remember a single instance in which I've found Rob Schneider funny. Not one.

Popular posts from this blog

Dog blogs, plus the I look like my dog "contest"

50 Cent's crib