The self, annotated

You would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my mystery
I'm quite impressed by how the "I'm that blogger" thing has spread through the Singaporean blogosphere, considering that it's not a full-on meme - no one tags you to do it, it just is done. It has the tones of a giant group confessional, and a lot of the writing is very moving. It is really good to see how complex people's lives are - some of my friends have joined in.

But I'm the guy who never kisses and tells, so you can just stop here if that's what you're looking for. There are things about myself that I will never say online. So I shall try to negotiate a variation of this exploration of self that doesn't touch - as everyone else's seems to do - on love and sex and relationships and family, but on identity.

I'm the guy who will edit and reedit this entry, and disavow all previous incarnations of the text. There are a hundred visions and revisions before the taking of a toast and tea. This is the 2nd edition online, the public variant.

I'm the guy who loves his dogs with a love that is unalloyed and wholehearted.

I'm the guy who loves cities and can't stand cars. I'm the guy whose ideal car would be an electric vehicle. If environmental concerns were not an issue, I'm the guy who'd love a '56 Chevy.

I'm the guy who's been the sole straight man at a gay club in Chelsea and the sole Chinese man at a reggae club in Notting Hill, and had a great time at both.

I'm the guy who walked alone in the South Bronx and Bed-Stuy and other supposedly 'dangerous' parts of New York and ended up having to give directions to others.

I'm the guy who went around London for a day with Carolin, a German woman he met in the youth hostel; for a day with Ron, the gay man who thought everyone in Hollywood was gay; and for a day with these two Sicilian women who didn't speak English.

I'm the guy who sat down opposite Natalie Portman at dinner and didn't recognise her.

I'm the guy who thinks on occasion that High Fidelity is the biography of his life.

I'm the man who loves you. I am an American aquarium drinker. I am trying to break your heart. I am curious - yellow. I'm waiting for the man. I'm your man.

I'm the guy who found himself when he went to America, who shed all his angst, and realised that he was truly happy with who he was.

(Via Tomorrow)

Comments

Ahmad said…
I share your thoughts on(and tastes in) cars, although I'd sooner die than not notice Natalie Portman sitting opposite me.
Anonymous said…
Wow!! Here I thought I was the only queer from Singapore living in the States!
Daryl said…
a zhaki: Ehhh - she was in my dorm so it's not like there was any novelty to seeing her.

lst: um - I did say I was a straight man! And I'm in Singapore now.
Anonymous said…
I never mentioned that I was gay or a man.
Hehehe.
Just glad to know of another Singaporean who enjoyed Boston, MA as passionately as I do.
Just glad that I dont live there now.
PS: I had a Chevy, a Chevy Camaro. Driving a Jeep Cherokee now.

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